Parashat Balak - Second Aliyah

Bilam wakes in the morning. He already knows the answer. “Lechu el artzechem ki me’en Adonai letiti lahaloch imachem” (Go to your land, for Adonai has refused to let me go with you, verse 13).

But Bilam’s story does not end with one refusal.

Balak does not give up. He sends more important messengers, with a larger bribe, and a respectful plea: “Al na timana mehaloch elai… ki kabed achabedcha me’od” (Please do not refuse to come to me… for I will surely honor you greatly, verses 16-17). Balak is not looking for a prophet. He is looking for a sorcerer to hire. He is certain that everything, including a curse, can be bought.

Bilam answers with a golden line: “Im yiten li Balak melo veito kesef vezahav lo uchal la’avor et pi Adonai Elohai” (If Balak gives me his house full of silver and gold, I cannot transgress the word of Adonai my God, verse 18). The words sound noble, but Rashi already catches the truth beneath the dignity. On the words “melo veito kesef vezahav” he says: “We learn from this that his soul is wide and covets the money of others.” One who bothers to specify that there is not enough money to move him gives away that he has already calculated the sum.

And although he says “no,” he leaves a door open: “Shvu na… ve’ed’ah mah yosef Adonai daber imi” (Stay here… and I will know what more Adonai will say to me, verse 19). And from here, the decline begins.

The Holy One allows him to go, but on condition: “Ach et hadavar asher adaber elecha oto ta’aseh” (But the thing that I shall speak to you, that you shall do, verse 20).

Inwardly, this is a test point that appears again and again in faith and in life. When the heart truly wants something, even if it is not right, often the Holy One permits. Not because it is His will, but because it is ours.

The idea that human choice is given to the individual, without coercion, appears in the words of Rambam: “Free will is given to every man. If he wishes to incline himself toward the good way and to be righteous, the choice is in his hand; and if he wishes to incline himself toward the evil way and to be wicked, the choice is in his hand” (Hilchot Teshuvah 5:1). Even when influences exist, ultimately each person is responsible for his own path, for good or for ill.

Bilam did not want to bless, he wanted to curse. Not because he was told to, but because deep inside he was drawn to honor, to wealth, to the ability to wield the power of speech.

And us?

How many times do we say “no,” but leave a “maybe.” How many times do we keep checking again and again, when we already know what is right. Are we ready to accept a “no,” or do we look for a way around it?

This aliyah teaches us that a question asked again is not always asked out of innocence, but out of a desire to hear a different answer.